My Christmas Thought

In this, the season of giving, I’ve thought a lot about the concept of selflessness.  We give our time, our means, our energy.  We give to our children, our families, our friends and neighbors, and to complete strangers.  Sometimes, we give knowing that we’ll never see the faces of, or hear the gratitude of the recipients.  Yet, the critics will say that there is no thing as true ’selflessness.’  You give, because there is always, on some level, some personal gain.

And I must admit that I agree with them.

Giving is always receiving.  Though the primary purpose of the action may not be to receive the consequent personal benefit, it always follows.  I do not, however think that this diminishes the worth of the gift or the value of the giving.

The universe is governed by natural laws.  Some of those laws are physical, and we are likely more familiar with those.  The spiritual or moral laws operate much the same way: actions is followed by reaction.  There is always a consequence.

It is only natural that an act of love or of kindness will be followed by a sense of accomplishment, of meaning, of happiness.  There have likely been times in our lives when we have failed to find this satisfaction, because we have been too busy or distracted or self-conscious to recognize it, but it has been there nonetheless.

And there is nothing wrong with seeking the joy that accompanies service.  It’s not the same thing as seeking recognition.  I would argue that selflessness, far from being the opposite of selfishness, is overrated.  No, I’ll go even further than that.  Selflessness is impossible.  The fact is that each one of us has a self.  Each of us is an individual and is aware of the world only through our own experiences and understanding.  We cannot cut ourselves out of the equation.

In fact, what more selfish thing could we do, than to withhold our service from others and to deny ourselves of happiness because we are too concerned that we are giving only for our own benefit?  Yes, I serve my daughters and my husband because I love them, but also because it makes me happy.  When I give to neighbors, friends, and strangers, it’s because I know it’s the right thing to do, but also because I enjoy the satisfaction of knowing that I did the right thing, that by my actions, the ocean is one drop more.

We best maintain ourselves by maintaining others.  I am not ashamed to be seeking my own happiness.  If wrapping presents or working at a soup kitchen gives me a rush, that effect is only enhanced by the fact that I am afterward better able to care for myself and for others.

So this is the gift that I will give myself this Christmas.  I will allow myself to be motivated to do what is right by the hope of a deep and abiding gladness.  I will seek to give and to serve, and will strive to be awake to the resulting happiness that will find me.